Expectations and goals

So I thought I’d start this off with my favourite quote:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”

Now, I see this quote everyday in my house and it wasn’t till recently that it began to resonate with me. Previously, I’d prefer to hold onto the uncertainty I had within myself, as it seemed easier to me than taking a stand and being more strong in my convictions. I’d listen to others and their opinions of me, as I thought it was easier than believing in my own ability and potential. I encourage you to consume yourself with thoughts of your goals and the ways you’re going to attain them. Don’t let the passing comments of an unsupportive teacher or fake friend occupy the mind that is going to help you do great things.

Exam results is now a major topic for those who recently sat GCSE, AS and A2 exams. I urge you to please ensure you don’t let grades make you feel like your world is turning upside down because I can assure you, although it may not feel like it, you will be fine, whatever the outcome. Having been there, I know it is definitely a worrying, faint-inducing and pivotal time however, what’s done is done and you can only look to the future.

Our expectations of ourselves, expectations set unto us by others and the thought of what will be thought of us are some reasons as to why exam results bring stress. We expect things from ourselves when all we can do is try our best. However, if you know you could of done more, do better next time! There will always be another opportunity, just make sure you don’t waste it.

If you have received great results, well done! Be happy with the results you have and use the same tenacity you had when trying to achieve these results in the future to get even better results.

If you have received results you’re not so happy about, think carefully about your next steps. No decision is a wrong one as there is a lesson in everything you do however some things can be avoided by just taking some extra time to make your decisions rather than rushing. In whatever you choose to do, use your results to motivate you to do better and continue to strive for the best because you are capable.

During this time, take time to reflect and ask yourself whether you put in as much effort as you could of. I have definitely been in situations where I know I could of put more effort in and as a result, the outcome wasn’t to my liking. For example when I used to pray and ask God for things, I would expect it tomorrow morning by 9am without any effort being put in on my side (silly, I know). I now know, that with everything you want in life, effort needs to be added otherwise what you want to achieve will not be attained.

Remember, situations in life are not there to bring you down and make you sad, they’re there to teach you so that you can come back from it stronger and wiser.

Anything you want me to cover on my blog? Feedback? Just want to talk? For any of the above and more, you can interact with me on the following platforms:

Twitter – @Nassamula 

Tumblr – http://alenasthoughts.tumblr.com

Alternatively, email me at alenasthoughts@gmail.com

Advertisements
Expectations and goals

19 keys of life

I recently turned 19 so as a little birthday celebration post I have compiled 19 things which I think are the keys to a good life. They’re not in any particular order and these aren’t full fledged rules but things I have learnt and try to use in my day to day life. I hope you enjoy this and hopefully learn a few things.

  1. Optimism – this is very important. No matter what your circumstances may be, it’s always good to keep a optimistic outlook on life.
  2. Reflection – taking time out to reflect on yourself and how you’re doing, will only benefit you for the better. Being able to take time and see where you’re going right/wrong in certain areas is a vital skill to have.
  3. Being patient – whether it be with people or in life in general, patience is needed. You won’t achieve your goals overnight, but as long as you are patient and persevere, with hard work you will get there.
  4. Perseverance – following up on being patient, sticking to whatever you’re doing goes hand in hand (to me). There is no point starting something without the mindset that no matter what obstacles you face, you will still continue to push through.
  5. Taking risks – everyone loves their comfort zone. But if you are constantly there, you will never progress. Taking risks in life is needed, however make sure they’re smart ones.
  6. Enjoy life – sometimes we don’t take enough time to really enjoy ourselves and the lives we lead as we have busy, purposeful days. Take time out once in a while to really enjoy your life by doing something you love.
  7. Taking accountability for your actions – we all make mistakes, its going to happen. However it’s how we act after our mistakes that people remember. Whatever happens, make sure you take responsibility for the bad decisions you may make as well as the good ones.
  8. Being humble – humility will get you far. People tend to admire those who have a lot of success but yet don’t possess an arrogant, boastful stance on things.
  9. Being proactive – it’s good to network and make meaningful connections with those that may potentially help you out but remember, to do things for yourself. Look out for things that will benefit you e.g. asking for work experience, looking for a mentor. Opportunities won’t fall out of the sky and into your lap, you’re going to have to get up and find them.
  10. Good food – without food we can’t function. However, there is a lot of food out there. Make sure you are getting your intake of fruits and vegetables.
  11. Drinking water – as a majority of our body is made up of water it would make sense to drink a lot of it during the day, however a lot of us don’t. Start drinking more water and you will see a difference in the way you feel and how you look.
  12. Exercising – this is definitely something I don’t follow as much as I should, especially when I know how important it is. There are so many benefits to exercise from the endorphins it produces to the health benefits. Try fit in a small time to exercise during your week, whether it be by jogging in the park or following a work out video, do it!
  13. Sleep – I think a lot of us are familiar with the phrases “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” “Money don’t sleep” popular sayings usually used to imply that in order to work extra hard, sleep has to be sacrificed. You don’t sleep for fun, you sleep so your body can recuperate and repair itself after all the hard work it does during the day, so by cutting it out of your life, you will not work at your best, so all that work you’re putting in will be in vain.
  14. Good weather – believe it or not, weather affects your mood. If possible, once in a while, find climates that you know you prefer and indulge in it. Whether it be sun or snow, go and enjoy yourself.
  15. Good people in your life – the company you keep impacts you more than you realise. If you’re a positive person surrounded by negative Nellies then their view on life will affect yours. Surround yourself with like minded people for your benefit and growth.
  16. Not worrying about what other people think about you – worry about what you think, because it’s your life and no one else’s.
  17. Doing things that make you happy – whether it be shopping, walking, or playing the flute, do it. If it makes you happy, keep at it.
  18. Being thankful for your blessings – we all have something to be thankful for, our friends, our talents and the list goes on. Always be thankful.
  19. Not dwelling on your shortcomings – It is definitely easy to find yourself down in the dumps over “Ls” however whatever you’re going through will come to pass so don’t worry about it.

Anything you want me to cover on my blog? Feedback? Just want to talk? For any of the above and more, you can interact with me on the following platforms:

Twitter – @Nassamula 

Tumblr – http://alenasthoughts.tumblr.com

Alternatively, email me at alenasthoughts@gmail.com

19 keys of life

Don’t be deterred from your destiny

There will be people who will never wish you well. These can be people you see as friends, family members, strangers or even teachers. Known as “they”, a term made popular by DJ Khaled, these are people you do NOT want in your life. And aside from the eccentrics and larger than life persona he possesses, DJ Khaled makes good points about “they” and how to deal with them. If you’re unfamiliar with they, here are some examples of actions I have experienced:

“They” will hear you talk about your goals and give you their unwanted opinion about how you can never achieve them. “They” will have ways to help you but will never help if you were ever to ask them. “They” may actually help you, but will only help you to a certain degree so you can never surpass them.

However, despite my interactions with “they”, I am still achieving everything I want to do and more, as can you. You may have multiple “they’s” in your life or you may have been fortunate enough to never have come across one. Whatever the case, by the end of this post you will gain some knowledge on how to handle them.

Being young, where the only people you are surrounded by the majority of your days are your teachers and classmates, it can be hard to avoid their negative, non-encouraging comments. Similar to those in the workplace, where avoiding an irate boss who continues to belittle your and your ideas is near impossible. You are not alone in these situations neither is a it a permanent one. Once you realise you are bigger than the words being thrown at you, then you can overcome anything.

Start by appreciating those who continue to uplift you and support your dreams. If you have a group of people around you that belittle what you want to do or are just all in all toxic then remove them from your life, sooner rather than later. Following a negative crowd and listening to negative people wont help you or your mindset. You must try to get into a pattern of blocking out such comments and tuning into more positive thoughts. One negative comment can lead to you having a bad day full of sorrow whilst positive thoughts will bring happier days. Self-evaluate and try to implement these ideas into your life, to help you become the best that you can be.

Anything you want me to cover on my blog? Feedback? Just want to talk? For any of the above and more, you can interact with me on the following platforms:

Twitter – @Nassamula 

Tumblr – http://alenasthoughts.tumblr.com

Alternatively, email me at alenasthoughts@gmail.com

Don’t be deterred from your destiny

Bare necessities

Think about how many times a day you say to yourself, “I really want”. Now think about what follows that phrase. I know for me what normally follows it is usually clothes or some new make up. Sometimes I find myself having lists of items which are pending for me to purchase and its only recently I’ve asked myself why? Why do I insist on buying all these things and I have no valid reason, except that I want it. But do I need it?

Today, everyone including myself sometimes is worried about having the latest things. Our social status is partly dependent on the amount of material items you posses, with those with the luxury brands being seen as wealthy and “goals”, whilst those without are deemed broke. Whether you own the most expensive things or not, if you don’t have the things you NEED, the bare necessities, then you basically have nothing. The bare necessities are things that we need to survive, things that will help us grow as individuals make us happy. The rest are just wants. Now wants aren’t a bad thing, but if we place too much value on the wants, then the needs will get overshadowed.

Once in a while, take time to think about attaining the things we need like,

  • good support unit
  • good food
  • good environment etc, all things that are beneficial to us and are usually of little to no cost.

Think about whether you are getting any of those things, and if you’re not, find ways to make sure you can change that.  I’ve made a list of a few things, (some very cliche) that I believe we all need to do : drink a good amount of water, eat breakfast which includes some fruit and or fibre, exercising and taking some for yourself are all small things which you can do to help yourself. We only get one life, don’t squander it by living recklessly. Be good to your body and mind, and in turn you will acquire all that is available to you and more.

Anything you want me to cover on my blog? Feedback? Just want to talk? For any of the above and more, you can interact with me on the following platforms:

Twitter – @Nassamula 

Tumblr – http://alenasthoughts.tumblr.com

Alternatively, email me at alenasthoughts@gmail.com

Bare necessities

Self pity gets you nowhere

Psalm 55:22

self-pity – excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles.

Known as a psychological state of mind, self-pity doesn’t bring any joy or happiness. It is poisonous and dangerous, however despite that, it is very easy to land yourself into it.

I can say there have definitely been times when I have found myself suffering from self pity over situations. Times where I would be obsessing over my exam results saw not only myself in self pity, but also others, which didn’t help as we all know misery loves company. Overthinking about very temporary situations such as exam results, is not the way forward because like everything in life, exam results will pass and things will move on.

Another time I was in that state of mind was during my first year of uni. I felt unhappy at times due to where I was and what I was (or wasn’t) doing. This also stemmed from a lot of comparisons with others, which never helps. People always show their best sides to others, so comparing yourself to someone with whom you only know a fraction about, isn’t going to do you any favours. Reassuring myself that the situation I am in will soon end, gave me something to look forward to and allowed me to take control over my happiness once again.

Wallowing away in a puddle of self pity will not change a situation nor enhance it in any way. It will not add value to your life or any one else’s life around you. It will only block your journey negatively and any blessings you could have received. Removing yourself from your unhappy state can be hard but remember you have autonomy over yourself and your thoughts. Positive thoughts will bring positivity your way and as long as you keep thinking like that, you will see a turn around in your life. And as easy as it is to sit down and pity yourself whilst going through trials and tribulations, the real satisfaction arises once you rise and soar out of the depths of your sorrow.

Anything you want me to cover on my blog? Feedback? Just want to talk? For any of the above and more, you can interact with me on the following platforms:

Twitter – @Nassamula 

Tumblr – http://alenasthoughts.tumblr.com

Alternatively, email me at alenasthoughts@gmail.com

Self pity gets you nowhere

Ask, Seek, Knock

Luke 11:9

Asking for help is one of the most important lessons I’ve learnt so far in life. I used to be a very stubborn person when it came to asking for help especially pertaining to academia. I’d sit there and think, “I cant ask for help, then I’d look like I don’t understand” the truth was I didn’t though, and I was only hindering my education and myself by not asking. Now through asking for help in any aspect of my life that I have difficulty with, I can see myself more better off. My academic results over the years have always been underwhelming for me, and instead of talking about it with my family I’d avoid conversations about it at all costs. Mainly cause it made me sad but also because it would highlight that I’d failed them and their expectations from me. However talking to them, taking their help, and closing that chapter would of done me more good than having it loom over me like a dark cloud.

In addition to that, whenever I felt down, I’d rarely like to speak about it, thinking it’d make me look weak and in my head I had to remain strong at all times. Now that I’ve accepted It’s okay to not always be okay, and that talking and accepting help from others is normal, I find myself feeling more happier and content having shared my issues rather than kept them in.

You’ll probably be reading this thinking it’s common sense to ask for help but I’ve crossed paths with plenty of people who need help but due to pride or fear don’t ask for it. Always remember people aren’t mind readers. If you want something from someone, ask them. That is the only way you can get what you need. And I can say with complete certainty that support and guidance will only elevate you to higher places.

Anything you want me to cover on my blog? Feedback? Just want to talk? For any of the above and more, you can interact with me on the following platforms:

Twitter – @Nassamula 

Tumblr – http://alenasthoughts.tumblr.com

Alternatively, email me at alenasthoughts@gmail.com

 

Ask, Seek, Knock

#TheConversationRemix

“because I was born and raised in the ends doesn’t mean I’m a product of my environment” – Ismael Musoke 

At 18 years old, I have had quite a few conversations, with various people in different walks of life. The conversations that have have stood out to me the most are the ones pertaining to my life. And what I should do with it. It’s funny how complete strangers can give you tips on what and how you should live your life, when they have never walked a mile in your shoes. It’s easy and probably fulfilling to advice someone on what they should do, but what works for one doesn’t work for all.

“Keep studying and once you finish your education, you’ll have a good, easy life.”

This sentence has been reiterated to me over and over again, and yet I still don’t believe it. Many people before me have finished their education but would I say their lives are easy? No. The grind doesn’t suddenly get easier as education ends. The pedestal education is put on, overshadows other key areas we all need in our lives. The importance of networking, gaining experience, being well rounded in other areas, are rarely mentioned. I believe a combination of these will help get you closer to where you want to be, than if education was just used alone.

“South London girls are loud.” “Girls from South are rowdy.”

And the stereotypes go on. You see statements like this mainly on twitter or hear it when people are talking, whilst some say it as a joke, there are others who say it with a bit more sincerity. I know I don’t fit the stereotype of a South London girl. One because becoming a “stereotypical” product of my environment was never my plan. And secondly, to me, stereotyping thousands of girls from one area to a one size fits all ideology has never and will never make sense. We are all individuals, with different personalities and backgrounds. So how can we all act the same?

Endless conversations but one thing stays the same. What happens to me is up to me and nobody else, despite all the advice given. It is up to me and the work I do, which will take me to where I need to get to.

Check out the original The Conversation piece by Ismael Musoke

https://youtu.be/X3C26jm7SdQ

His social media:

Soundcloud: https://m.soundcloud.com/ismaelmusoke 

Twitter: @IsmaelMusoke

Instagram: @callmeish

Anything you want me to cover on my blog? Feedback? Just want to talk? For any of the above and more, you can interact with me on the following platforms:

Twitter – @Nassamula 

Tumblr – http://alenasthoughts.tumblr.com

Alternatively, email me at alenasthoughts@gmail.com

 

#TheConversationRemix