Whether we would like to admit it or not, a part of us strives to be liked by others. Strives to be accepted. Subconsciously, we want every move we make to be a strategic one, it has to be perfect otherwise what would people think, what would they say? But why do the opinions of others matter so much in a life that belongs solely to you?
Looking for validation in others is something that we start to do from a very young age. We start looking for it in our first set of friends making sure they like us in the fear of having to spend our break times playing alone. We ensure we over excel during class time, arguably for our parents approval, but also for the reassurance from our teachers. To prove to them (and to ourselves) that we are worthy of their praise, the well done stamps in our books and the gold stickers. As we grow older, this then moves onto us seeking validation from our potential long term friends and partners, by ensuring we are enough for them and worthy of their affection.
Now, I do believe to an extent validation can be beneficial for us in some ways including the obvious reason of it being a major confidence boost for some, however it can soon turn into a hindrance, a blockage even once our need for validation from others prevents us from effectively executing our purpose in life. Mentally and emotionally, our constant need to secure green lights from others before we make decisions is very damaging and could affect your own ability to make self assured decisions for yourself. The decisions you make, whether it be romantically or professionally will affect you first before the decision trickles on and affects others. So they should be made in your favour, not anybody else’s.
There is also this idea that the only way the gifts we are given or ideas we have will prosper is if they are first accepted by others. And that we should only put plans into motion if they’re going to lead us to unimaginable successes. But what happened to doing what you’re passionate about for the sheer love of it and acquiring everything else that may come with it as a bonus? Without going off on a tangent, doing things for the wrong reasons, will only end with you being disappointed once things don’t turn out how you anticipate. Pursue what it is you want to pursue, no matter how anybody feels towards it. If it makes you feel good, do it. Once you start living your life purely for you, you will begin to reap the benefits. So live your best life, unapologetically.